Questions about adoption

Can I adopt a child if I'm not married?
I want to adopt a child, but is it possible to do this to me one, I'm not married?

According to Russian legislation, adoptive parents may be as a married couple, and people who are not married.


My husband and both HIV-positive. Can we adopt an HIV-positive baby?
My husband and both HIV-positive. Their children, we do not. Prompt, please, whether we have the opportunity to adopt an HIV-positive baby? Housing conditions - good, stable financial position, we both work. If adoption is not possible, whether there is another type of guardianship in our situation?

In our experience was not such a case, to HIV-positive people to adopt or take guardianship of a child with HIV. And, frankly, people with the desire we have not previously been treated. Therefore, this issue, we are not deeply involved. It is important that your desire to be truly mature and think about your health is stable, you have relatives who can support you if that happens.



What documentation to collect?
We think with her husband on adoption. What documents need to collect? The truth is that it takes a long time?

The collection of documents - the most easy part in the adoption of a child. Usually it takes about 2 weeks. Much more difficult to prepare itself and to prepare his family for this event. We invite you to be trained in our school, host parents, who for 12 years leading specialists

We insert a list of required documents. Also, it should give you the municipal authorities of custody of the place of your residence.

Documents needed to prepare the applicants for adoption:
1. A statement requesting an opinion on the possibility of being adoptive parents.
2. Brief biography.
3. Certificate from the employer indicating position and salary, or a copy of the declaration of income.
4. A copy of the personal financial accounts.
Form number 9, resulting in EIRTS (Uniform Settlement Information Centers at death), or zhiltovarischestve cooperative management TSZH (housing associations). For a disabled child, HIV positive, etc. relies separate room).
5. Extract from the house (every apartment) book, if a municipal shelter.
Standard Form Approved. district (city) administration, zhiltovarischestvo cooperative housing associations (TSZH). Typically issued in the passport office REU. TSZH etc.
6. If housing is privatized or purchased and is in private ownership, the documents proving the ownership of the dwelling, if it is privatized: The agreement of sale, registration certificate of ownership.
Notarized copy of the contract, the state registration certificate. pattern - a certified copy.
7. Help the bodies of internal affairs on the absence of a conviction for willful crimes against life or health of citizens.
Issues the precinct of the place of residence.
8. Medical state or municipal clinic on the health status of persons wishing to adopt a child made out in the prescribed form.
Form number 164/u-96, a Health Ministry Order number 332 dated September 10, 96g. Restrictions imposed post. Government № 542 from May 1, 1996
9. A copy of the marriage. If the adoptive parent is not married, provided a copy of a birth certificate.
10. When you adopt a child by a spouse - a statement expressing the consent of the other spouse to the adoption. If the spouse actually ceased to family relations, requires a document confirming that they have not lived together for over a year and place of residence of the other spouse is unknown (if it is impossible to attach to the application of the relevant document in the statement must be shown evidence of these facts).
11. The instrument of the citizen to register as a candidate for adoptive parents.
The new instrument was introduced with the new Code of Civil Procedure in 2003, Russian citizens are not required but may be requested by the court. They confirmed «candidacy» they can serve as either an extract from the journal of the guardianship authority in the form of information that citizens put on record in the guardianship and custody, № cause and date, or the very conclusion of the possibility of adoption, they also indicate the registration or certificate of operator of a data bank to put them to register as a candidate).
12. When you adopt a child aged 10 years and older need to consent to the adoption and modification of personal data (name, surname and patronymic, place of birth). Consent of child to adoptive parents and endorses body care, if the child has lived in the adoptive family, for example, was until then in custody, is the stepdaughter / stepchild adopter. If a child lives in an institution, the receipt of such authorization is not within the competence of those involved in the adoptive parent and the child and the guardian of the child (eg, director of the orphanage).

A stricter policy against illegal adoptions of Russian children by foreigners

Russian authorities have launched a campaign to combat illegal adoptions of children after a number of Russian children in the family made by foreigners in the past year exceeded the number of adoptions by Russian citizens.
State Duma said that foreigners adopted more than 44 thousand of Russian children in the past 10 years, of which 13 thousand - in 2007.
In the past 10 years, the number of cases of children adopted by Russian families has declined by half, while foreigners adopted five times as many Russian children than in the previous 10 years, said chairman of the Duma Committee on Women, Family and Youth Yekaterina Lakhova. Many Russians refer to approval of adoption of Russian children by foreigners. Foreigners, on the other hand, involves the lack of a large number of bureaucratic formalities in Russia in the process of adoption. Currently, the Russian children's institutions are 920 thousand orphans and children left without parental care.
Together with a group of other MPs, she proposes to simplify the procedure for the adoption of Russian families and toughen penalties against people who do business in illegal adoptions.
The MPs also want the Russian government has set up a data bank in respect of adopted children, and has entered into bilateral agreements with countries whose citizens adopt Russian children.
First of all, we must maximize the potential of Russian families. You can not turn children into merchandise that is displayed for sale. "
On the issue drew the attention of the press, after German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder, to adopt a three-year-old girl Victoria from St. Petersburg, and film star Angelina Jolie adopted a boy seven Gleba.
Alleged that Angelina Jolie was not in compliance with the formal rules of adoption, as she visited several orphanages and then opted for Hleb. Meanwhile, foreign nationals must make a choice from a list of orphans, to which are attached photos of children and their medical records. Only then they are allowed to see the child.
Deputy Attorney General of Russia, General Vladimir Kolesnikov told the State Duma deputies that foreigners often pay up to 27 thousand dollars for the adoption of Russian children, although the law fee for adoption should not be charged.
Paying foreigners have access to the latest data on children, which can adopt. "Thus, adoption has become a lucrative business. This is disgusting," - said General Kolesnikov.
In the past year in Russia scandal erupted after a former Russian citizen Nadezhda Fratti, residing in Italy, was convicted of bribing officials and forging documents to which it was, designed adoptions of Russian children by Italian families. Between 1993 and 2001, Nadezhda Fratti "sold" 558 children, wrote the Russian press.
The audience was also shocked by the history of the seven-Victor, adoptive American parents who locked him in a dark cold basement, and used corporal punishment. Victor died of hypothermia in 2000.
Problems associated with the adoption of children, acquire a special meaning, because the majority of children taken into the family of an alien, residing in the United States - a country that was Moscow's enemy in the Cold War.
Meanwhile, after the collapse of the Soviet Union, Russia's population has declined by three million people.
Critics of proposals to change the adoption laws believe that in fact the problem is something else: a lot of Russian families are in a difficult financial situation and can not afford to take a foster child. Crisis affected the economy, as well as the revaluation of values, which occurred after the collapse of the Soviet Union.
Number of children in Russian orphanages over the past 10 years has doubled. The majority of the 920 thousand of these children are not orphans, but was simply abandoned by their parents.

The State Duma has rejected an appeal to Putin to suspend the adoption of Russian Americans

The State Duma has rejected an appeal to the President of the Government of the Russian Federation Vladimir Putin on the possibility of temporary suspension of adoption and U.S. citizens residing in their territory of persons of children who are citizens of the Russian Federation.


The State Duma Committee on Family, Women and Children in its conclusion on this appeal stated that according to the American National Committee for adoption during the period from 1996 to 2008 in the United States killed 15 Russian children adopted by American citizens. In 14 cases the parents were found guilty in the deaths of children and brought to justice.

In 2006 and 2007 in Russia lifted more than 1 thousand decisions about the children in the family of Russian citizens by reason of failure of adoptive parents, guardians, foster parents responsibilities for maintenance and education of children, more than 30 - because of child abuse. Over 2.5 thousand in 2006, over 3 thousand in 2007, decisions about the child's family canceled at the initiative of surrogate parents, said a committee.

In 2007 in Russia revealed 3569 cases of child abuse, criminal responsibility for crimes against children involve 93 adopter, guardian. "There can be no doubt that the problem of child abuse is not confined by territorial boundaries of any one State", stressed the profile committee.

The Committee notes that the treaty between Russia and Italy will be the model for the future at the conclusion of bilateral treaties that govern the relationship of adoption. "

Procedure of adoption in Moscow

The decision on adoption accepts not department of formation, and court, and in case of adoption by foreigners - only the Moscow city court. According to for March, the Moscow databank of children-orphans which can be adopted, totals 5875 children in the age of till 18 years.

In 2005 it was accepted courts six decisions on a cancelling of adoption that is connected, in particular, with change of everyday conditions of citizens, and also deterioration of health of adoptive fathers.

It is necessary to note, that authorities of Moscow deny hearings about problems with adoption of children in Russia and Moscow. As officials speak, procedure of adoption is simple: a married couple or the woman, decided to become adoptive fathers, should come to local bodies of trusteeship and guardianship where with them will lead conversation, and also will give out the list of necessary documents for adoption of the child.

Among such documents - the detailed curriculum vitae of adoptive fathers, the reference with the instruction of the sizes of wages, an extract from the financial personal account, and also the information on absence of a previous conviction for fulfilment of the crimes connected with murder. After submission of all necessary documents regional bodies of trusteeship and guardianship study them within 10 days then the positive conclusion or refusal stands out.

If it was not possible to pick up the child on a place, adoptive fathers go to a regional databank in which the information on all children which adoption is possible under the law contains.

In a databank adoptive fathers study photos of children and the information on them then with the given out direction receptions on a place of the information on a condition of its health, character and other features go to establishment in which the child chosen by them for direct dialogue with it is brought up, and also.

For the Russian adoptive fathers of restrictions on age does not exist. According to their middle age makes 35-45 years.

Procedure of adoption for foreigners is those: potential foreign parents should choose the child from the official list, being guided on photos and medical data. Only after that it allow to look the child. If they decide to not adopt this child they should come back again to the official list and continue searches.

For 15 years in Russia 1220 adopted children are killed

In Russia for 15 years, since 1991, 1220 children adopted by the Russian citizens were lost, from them 12 person have been killed by the adoptive fathers. Such data Galina Semja on Monday at press conference has resulted the expert of the Representative by the rights of the child of Moscow.

According to the expert, for same time 116 cases of drawing to children of heavy physical injuries have been registered, in 23 cases heavy physical injuries were put by adoptive fathers.

According to Galina Semi, for the same 15-years period from total of children adopted by foreign citizens, five children were lost, 16 more became victims of accidents. 119 more children have been returned home, informs RIA of "News".

At the same time, as Lyudmila Petranovskaja has noted the psychologist of service of the device in families of children's home number 19 Moscow, in a society is much spoken about cruel treatment with reception children and a little - about usual safe families.

Let's remind, that in the past to year the Russian Office of Public Prosecutor resulted other figures. It was informed, that for last years by foreign citizens have been killed 13 children adopted in Russia, 12 of them - in the USA.

According to data of statistics, for last 10 years in Russia the number of children adopted by the Russian citizens, and number of cases of adoption was twice reduced by foreigners has grown in 5 times. So, in 2001 foreigners have adopted almost 8 thousand children, while Russians - hardly more than 7 thousand.

In 2003 from the Russian children's homes have taken away 14 101 children. 7175 Russians, and 6926 - foreigners have adopted. 71 percent of the adopted Russian boys and girls there have left for the USA, 12 percent - to Spain, 5 percent - to France, 2 percent - to Italy, 2 percent - to Canada, 8 percent - in other countries. Often adopted children perish from hands of severe new parents. More often from children's homes take away children till 3 years.

According to, in 2004 Spaniards have adopted 1 thousand 618 children from Russia - almost each third foreign child who has found new parents in Spain.

More than 80 % of children adopted in Spain - from abroad. In total in the country in the past to year 541 child from other countries has been adopted 5 thousand. It on 40 % is more, than in previous 2003.

Before Russia won first place among children adopted in Spain from abroad. Now on the first place there was China where have been adopted 2 thousand 389 children. In the countries of Latin America, despite of a generality of language, religion and culture, Spaniards in the past to year have adopted only 585 children.

Spain became the country of the world second after the USA which adopts children abroad, and the first - in the Europe.

Adoption of orphans has turned to Russia in fashionable PR-campaign

Across all Russia the set various PR-campaigns on struggle with сиротством recently is started. For the last half a year number wishing to take to itself the orphan really a little подросло, but experts consider, that authorities have approached to a problem not from that end. First it is necessary to adjust work on preventive maintenance сиротства, to help to rise on legs to institute патронатных families, and then to arrange PR-action, write " New news ".

Annually in children's homes of Russia get about 125 thousand children. In the state databank today 172 thousand questionnaires of children expecting adoption. This sad statistics was sounded one of these days by the deputy minister of formation and a science Vladimir Fridljandov. However for all interested persons this application news did not become. In the end of December of the last year Minister of Health Michael Zurabov has told, that plans to reduce for two-rub years number of pupils of children's homes with 750 up to 100 thousand - in 7,5 times. Minister has emphasized, that children till three years in boarding schools to remain should not at all, except for hard sick. Having heard the instruction of minister, regional authorities have begun to embody it during a life. Within the limits of Year of the child and Day of protection of children on all country have started to pass actions on stimulation of adoption.

For example, in the city of Artem of Primorye Territory each inhabitant can take to itself on summer vacations of the pupil of children's home. Registration " каникулярного paternity " is extremely simple: it is necessary to write the application to a department of protection of the rights of the childhood only. Соцработник surveys living conditions and if it will draw the positive conclusion, the child at once can be taken away for all summer or even for 2-3 weeks. The purpose of the action, according to organizers - to show children, that such the healthy, strong family!

Simultaneously (strange concurrence) in Chelyabinsk in honour of June, 1st has passed action under the name " Find me, mum! ". In the street have opened a photo gallery of portraits of orphans. All interested persons could there and then, on a place, consult with the expert of a department of trusteeship and start the further actions. Something similar in Day of protection of children was observed and in Novokuznetsk. However, there the action referred to " Where you, mum? ", and in step with progress: children-orphans "did not hang out" in the street, and showed on TV.

But further all authorities of Kuban have gone. There officials have decided to show care of children-orphans on a personal example. Governor Alexander Tkachev has adopted 10-years girl Nastju. It have declared all mass-media and to a grade of the governor officials and businessmen at once have followed. They have disassembled 150 children from the same children's home.

Results of similar actions long to wait for themselves have not forced. Visitors in children's homes became more. " For the last summer we managed to attach 1-2 kids, and now we are going to give to families of not less than 6-7 children, - Hope Муругина has told director of Chelyabinsk children's home N6. - However the effect can appear short-term. When advertising campaigns will end, the number wishing to take the child again will be reduced ".

Experts converge in opinion what to draw attention to problems сиротства it is necessary. " The problem Put by Michael Zurabovym about moving children on families is achievable, - executive director of public organization " Right of the child " Boris Altshuler has explained. - however confuse rigid terms and exact figures. Not speaking that teachers and psychologists, and officials and managers are engaged in all these actions not. What will be result - here it it is possible to tell precisely. Half of children will return back to children's homes. As it also occured up to application Зурабова. For the last year from 7 thousand accepted in reception families in establishments again have returned 3 thousand children ".

Has easier put is with registration of patronage. To take the child for a while, in a databank to address not necessarily. But here there are other difficulties. In a number of regions there was such situation, that children on патронатное education are taken not choosing. For that simple reason, that for many a birth grant - a unique source of the income. Патронатным to parents the state pays the salary of the tutor, and the child thus continues to use all privileges of the orphan.

In particular, after 18 years to it the apartment is put, and it can begin an independent life. It turns out, that the child as though sits on two chairs. For officials it, certainly, a huge minus. But all pluss of such form of education was estimated by inhabitants of the Novgorod area. From 70 pupils of children's home in village Moshenskom today within the precincts of a building there was only one kid. Without any advertising or appeals of the heads.

How correctly to bring up the adopted son?

Each mum does everything that its child grew healthy and happy and if in family the son - tries to bring up its strong and courageous. However at times these efforts lead to opposite result - the boy grows not self-assured, closed, it does not have an attitude with friends, it gives in to difficulties. How to avoid mistakes in education of sons? The most widespread questions of parents are answered with psychologist Olga Voronova and teacher Vita Viktorova.

1. Very few people from parents wants, that their son went to serve in army. At the same time it is considered, what exactly in army the boy becomes the present the man as the service tempers character. How to be?
If the child has a constant desire to approve, to insist on the and to hit back, means, at heart it feels vulnerable and is protected thus. First of all also it is necessary to understand the reasons of this vulnerability.

The army accustoms to discipline, organization, skill to cope with difficulties. On the other hand, disgraces which are created in our army, bear threat for health of the young man. And hardly who will condemn you, if you will find different ways to learn the son to self-discipline and patriotism. Playing sports will help it to feel strong, absence of the raised parental trusteeship will make independent, and patriotism takes root first of all in family. But if so happens, that your boy take away in army, adjust it that within two years it will live on perfect to other laws and it is better to adapt for these laws, than to protest against them. Explain to it, that дедовщина (from which the army heads not especially struggles) is present not only at Russia, but also to others much more civilized countries and it is directed on beating out" from the soldier individuality, because a basis of army - implicit submission to orders. Young men with strongly developed "I" suffer more than the others. That these 2 years have not turned to a nightmare, the child should possess good physical preparation, to be sociable enough and loyal to those who surrounds it.

2. What to do, if the boy behaves aggressively - fights, offends other children?

Aggression is inherent both to girls, and boys, but boys can show it is from time immemorial more openly was considered normal and was encouraged, while softness and compliance were considered as lack. Boys aggressively defend the place in collective, struggle for leadership. But too high level of aggression can speak about uncertainty in. Installation " against me " speaks all world about absence of feeling of safety, and the feeling it is formed in family. If parents (mum first of all) concern to the son with love, do not push away the kid when to it it is terrible, do not shout at it, do not suppress - the feeling of safety at the son is present. Otherwise there is a uneasiness, fear before the world. And further depending on specific features the child can battle to this hostile world or be hidden from it, fawn upon it. Sometimes the raised aggression - consequence of surplus of energy which suppress different norms and etiquette. " Do not run, do not rustle, sit easy! " - as a result the child leaves on street and fights with the first who косо has looked at it. If your son grows greater the squabbler, it is necessary to operate at once in two directions. The first - to give an output of energy, that is to write down the son in sports section. Then aggression will be directed to a normal channel and will be of use for the child - it becomes is more self-assured, will feel force. The second direction - psychological. It is necessary to respect and love the child, that it tested rest and sincere comfort, then it will not need to trace surrounding conditions to stop any hostile attacks. In a word, if parents understanding and benevolent if in family reign the consent and взаимоуважение, the world seems to the child friendly and it does not battle to it.

3. How to distinguish at the son propensity to homosexuality and how with it to struggle?

Till now disputes are conducted, propensity to homosexuality is congenital or got. This propensity can be expressed that at the boy is broken on-лоролевое behaviour - it does not wish to approve actively itself(himself) in collective, shows sensitivity, feels in a society of girls more comfortably, with pleasure plays their typical games - puts toys to bed, feeds them, sews it clothes, and from машинок categorically refuses, etc. On character such boys more tender, vulnerable and sensitive, rather than their contempoparies. They do not like to fight, give in to obvious aggression, but thus like to be the focus of attention. Children in whom it is a lot of a narcissism, that is are inclined to homosexuality of narcissism also. However for anxiety there are bases only if all these strangenesses are shown in a complex. Besides it is necessary to remember, that precise comprehension of the floor comes at the child to years to 4-5, and up to this age children only compare themselves to coevals and adults, trying to find similarities and distinctions. Thus kids show huge curiosity, that sometimes guards and frightens adults. However the occasion for experiences, as a rule, is not present. If obvious infringements are kept and in 8 9 years, it is possible to address already for consultation to the expert who will define, whether there is a problem and as with it to be. Infringement of sexual orientation at boys is influenced with following factors: dislike from the father or its absence in a life of the child (the non-realized need for this love will be kept, and the boy will search for it at other adult men), desire of parents to have the girl and not realized imposing to the son of female model of behaviour, cruel treatment from mother (in this case the boy perceives women as a potential source of humiliation and avoids them).

If you have understood, that at your son nonconventional orientation, or have noticed propensity to it, do not shout at it, do not punish, and understand the reasons (probably, it it is necessary to change own behaviour) and delicately correct behaviour of the son. But in any case remember, that it is your child and you should not reject it under no circumstances.
The most widespread mistakes which are supposed by parents at education of the son.

* too severe attitude for the sake of education of courage. To boys, in the same way as well as to girls, the love, caress, care, attention are necessary.
* Desire to bring up the child on the image and similarity, ignoring specific features.
* Quarrels between parents on eyes at the son.
* Presentation to the child of too high requirements (" You the boy! ") to which it cannot correspond.
* the Connivance to any whim, overindulgence (especially, if мальчик-the younger child in family).
* Absence of sequence in education (for the same behaviour or an act that punish praise).
* in education between parents - one resolves Inconsistency, another forbids.
* Comparison with other children and their reduction as an example, criticism.
* Constant imposing of negative installations (" do not run quickly, and that you will fall ", " you will Badly study - you will become the yard keeper ").
* Training to sciences to the detriment of physical training (the boy should be physically strong and hardy).
* Absence of a personal positive example.

4. The son in the whole days stays behind a computer. How to disaccustom it to it?

Dependence on a computer appears at those children who in general are inclined to dependence. Someone gets in dependence on drugs, someone - from alcohol, others - from the Internet. It is important to understand, that all aforesaid is a leaving from a real life in the world invented. And victims of these predilections, as a rule, become children who are not feeling love of parents. It at all does not mean, that parents do not care of them. But this care is expressed not that is necessary for the child. Purchase of things, payment of formation are not connected in understanding of children with love. To love - means to pay attention, to respect, listen to problems. If it your son does not receive anything, at it the feeling of own uselessness, loneliness, потерянности is born. From here the aspiration to leave in the world, " where all is easy ".

5. How the father should behave to bring up the normal son?

The behaviour of the father has huge value in education of the boy because the example it shows how should behave the man in those or other situations. If the daddy - the head of the family, the son will be guided by this model and, most likely, will want to play лидерскую a role in family which itself will create. But if thus the father is rough and tyrannizes relatives, the child will feel deficiency of love that can undermine its confidence of - among representatives of the floor it will feel weak and vulnerable. Too soft daddy at imperous mum can generate character at which the boy will be subconsciously afraid of women, becomes подкаблучником or at it the syndrome Don Жуана will develop. First of all the ideal daddy should be loving, but at the same time to accustom to discipline. The daddy should hold a word and go to a zoo if has promised. In general, the principle here is simple - everything, that you wish to impart to the son, show on the example and involve the child in this process. Also remember a principle of a golden mean - too severe education (the child perceives it as tyranny) or granting of full freedom of actions (the son will find, that you are indifferent) are undesirable. As to feeling of man's full value, that the boy did not have complexes, the father should be the valid, loving and favourite husband, as harmonious attitudes between parents - the mortgage of happy home life of the son.

6. At my son awkward age. It became irritable, скрытным. How correctly to behave with it?

The awkward age is very important period when the psychological feeling of the teenager varies. It actively searches for the "I", tries to find the place among contempoparies, compares itself to them, reflects on meaning of the life. Simultaneously there is a reorganization of an organism, comes it is time to the first love. All this bears huge psychological loading. From here - irritability, change of behaviour, depressions. Very important during this period to not lose contact to the son. It is not necessary to climb to it in soul or to trace, than it is engaged, where goes, of whom is friends, it will share details of the life if trusts you. Certainly, from its party it is necessary to reflect on trust much earlier, but during this moment show wisdom and do not try to pacify the raged character. With the boy be delicate, do not deride its fears, doubts (" That for nonsense you bear? ", " what love in 15 years? "). If it will know, that you are always ready to listen and come it to the aid, it will not be closed also you can supervise a situation.

7. Present the man associates with войном, the defender, the noble knight. How in the son to bring up courage?

Times when the man with the weapon in hands protected family and the house, passed. Courage still in the price, but modern conditions of a life make to the stronger sex a little bit other demands - to protect it is necessary not so much fists, how many mind and flexibility. Today successful the man should possess qualities traditionally registered for women: sociability, ability to catch mood of the interlocutor, skill to sympathize. Therefore education of the son focused on classical courage will complicate to it a life more likely, than will facilitate. The boy should feel confidently and the nobility, that it is capable to protect itself(himself) and the relatives, but modern girls any more do not suffer "owner" in the house - they wish to be independent, independent, demand sincere keenness and are not ready to play a role of the classical housewife. And promotion on work often depends not on direct pressure and adherence to principles, and from skill to maneuver and support contacts to people. So from the modern young man wait not брутальности, and лидерских for qualities in a combination to flexibility and keenness.

8. How to bring up the winner-son who will be successful?
Everything, that you impart to the son, show on own example

Certainly, presently huge value has good formation, therefore parents save money for good school, institute, rates. But, unfortunately, only it is not enough formation, that, having received the diploma, the son was arranged for good work and became бы-

стро to move ahead on a career ladder. There is not enough and talent. There is an expression, that the destiny is a character. Character does the person successful. The boy necessarily should be self-assured, the nobility, that the decision of a difficult problem to it on forces. Also bring up in the son diligence. But at education of these qualities it is necessary to consider specific features of the child. For example, if it alive, mobile, restless there is no sense to force to pore its hours over textbooks - so you only will discourage to work.

Always speak the son that trust in it, that at it all will turn out, praise it not only for brilliant results, but also for efforts even if while they have not crowned success. Do not put to it as an example for other children - it you let know, that it in opinion of even the most close people is worse than the others. Love it that it is, instead of that it has received the five. And closely look narrowly at its hobbies - important to help the child to be defined with the future trade or even to plan sphere of the future activity. Do not repeat the widespread mistake when parents impose to children in what once wished to be engaged. The person cannot be successful in unloved business, but can reach huge heights if it will be keen by a trade. However, there is a question: how to be, if the son likes business it is complex to them to earn for a life? In such situation you can correct a speciality, having offered the future artist to master a trade of the designer.

9. As a rule, after divorce the child it is necessary to live with mum. How mum can replace to it the father, even partially?
Harmonious attitudes between parents - the mortgage of successful and happy future home life of your son!

It is very important, that the son knew, that it has a father and that its daddy - the good person with set of advantages. It is necessary to emphasize in every possible way, that the daddy loves the son, is simple by virtue of the certain circumstances cannot live together with it. In the childhood from the most close people we acquire models of behaviour. And your son, looking at an event around, studies, as it is necessary to behave with friends, children, relatives. In this plan absence of the father badly influences "script" of the future life-actually the boy does not know, that in family the husband as it is necessary to concern to the woman as a whole and to the wife in particular should do. Understanding this problem, some women try to behave both as mother and as the father simultaneously, than finally "grease" a picture. In such situation it is better to remain easier mum and that the son had a man's model of behaviour, encourage its dialogue with the native father - forget about the insults on the former husband and think exclusively of well-being of the son. It is useful to communicate also with married couples that the child saw how the husband and the wife behave.

Harmonious attitudes between parents - the mortgage of successful and happy future home life of your son!

10. In spite of the fact that the son and the daughter study at the same teachers, the attitude to school and subjects absolutely different. With what it is connected?

It is experimentally proved, what even at newborn girls and boys the brain differently functions. To school age of distinctions as experts approve, more, than similarities. And though at each age of the girl and boys pass identical stages of development, they, naturally, differently concern to educational process. If girls are steadier, приспособляемы against offered conditions, on the average they, as a rule, go to school is better, boys are more vulnerable, it is more difficult to them to adhere to the established rules and model of behaviour. The fact is conventional, that boys and girls have a number of psychological distinctions. At the overwhelming majority of the first visually-spatial and mathematical abilities, at the second - speech, for example, are is better developed. Certainly, perception of subjects and schools as a whole too a miscellaneous. Boys unlike girls always need to formulate precisely a ultimate goal of that you explain, in other words, to tell, what for it it is necessary to know and be able. If girls, as a rule, are more diligent and are ready to perform work only because " so it is necessary " boys are more rational and are practical in expenses for study and if there is no answer to a question "what for", will not give all the best. Moreover, it is impossible to forget, that at school women work basically, it too affects results of training. There is such joke (and in it a share of true), that a pedagogical science men and have created the maintenance of formation at us man's, and then men from school send away also the organization of formation there were female, from here and all troubles for boys. If it is serious, some foreign researchers explain these a lot of good schoolgirls in comparison with quantity of good pupils. As it is banal sounds, but boys-pupils are not worse at all, than girls-schoolgirls, they simply others, and never it is necessary to forget about it!